Thursday, October 28, 2010


I don't know, but perhaps I should?  Are adoptees born with some kind of built in radar telling them they should carry around with them some kind of insecurities?  The reason I raise this question is because I see so much of myself in my daughter - and as you would know we are both adopted. 
At such a tender age of four I see her competing at everything to prove her worth, but why?  I don' feel that we have ever given her cause to feel insecure, to feel she needs to prove anything-infact she is the most clever and switched on little thing I have ever met. 
I remember having the same traits as her as a child, and in some aspects of my life I feel I still find a need to fight for recognition and to prove I am just as good at anything as anyone else, but I don't honestly know why.
In saying this, it's probably not as all bad as it sounds, I have after all been able to achieve many things throughout my life I wouldn't have if I didn't have that drive to do so.
So, I hope my daughter realises she needs to prove nothing to nobody; except to herself, after all she has the world at her feet already, she just dosn't know it yet.


  1. Personally I feel that it has nothing to do with being adopted. I believe that it is just part of who we are it's in our genes our soul it is part of what makes us unique, it's what makes us, well, us! If I looked at my family, I could tell you that I have a husband who strives to do the best and be the best of all that he can be, to enrich the lives of others and all that he touches in the community. ( Not adopted). My son, full of confidence, life, polite and he has fantastic work ethics, which is great for a 17 year old. ( Not adopted ). My daughter, always out to be the best that she can be. Pushes her self constantly, whether its sport or academically. At the age of 14 she knows exactly where she wants to be in life and what she wants from life. It's strange, for she has always been this way. It is like she was born with the path of her life right in front of her and she can see it all so clearly. (Not adopted). My youngest at the age of 12 it seems that he feels lost, still trying to find his way in life. Never to sure of anything, trying the vast array of sports to see where he fits in. He is so lovable, caring and the best hugger in the world. (also not adopted). But! As you can see they are all unique in their own way. That is just how and who we are..

  2. Hi, I do agree...I am an adoptee and also an adoptive Mother through the NSW local program. My friend (also an adoptee) and I have discussed this very issue and conclude that we do carry around more insecurities, a desire to prove ourselves and a feeling of being second rate. The second rate feeling comes from other peoples responses to adoption and sadly partucularly Australia. I say this because I was born/adopted in NZ and my friend the UK. There seems to be more stignatism about adoption in Oz (not as accepted) because there is less of it.