Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Adoption contact

As adoptive parents to our locally adopted daughter, we consider ourselves quite lucky with regard to contact agreeement between us and our daughter's biological mother.  As part of the 'open' adoption arrangments made prior to an adoption order being legalised in court, contact can vary from as little as an annual update given to the birth parent/s to as much as 3-4 visitations each year.  When I say we consider ourselves lucky, our commitment to our daughter's biological mother is just an annual update, involving just a written letter telling of progress and anything we feel relevent to share, along with photos. 
When I look back at the time when we quite happily accepted the fact we may have to 'share' our daughter with her biological parent's, I can now say I am much happier with the fact we don't have that complication in our lives.  And now five years of updates on, I consider why should contact and or updates be limited to the adoptive parents having to provide the information.  I often wonder what my daughter's biological mother is doing with her life now, what she feels, what her likes and dislikes are; to me this is all comparative, because there will be a time my daughter will ask questions that I won't have answers for.  I believe that under the 'open' adoption arrangements in our country, the issue of updates from both parties should be put in place; after all adoptions are put in place with the best interests of the child put foremost.  This suggests to me that the adopted child should then be given as much information as what is expected to be given to the biological parent's.


  1. Hi there,

    I've just come across your blog, and wanted to say bravo! I'm enjoying reading from your POV as not only an adoptive parent but also as an adoptee. In my opinion that makes you about the closest thing to an adoption expert as I could hope to find!

    I've been searching for Australian adoption blogs for a while now, and how fortunate (for me) that you are also located in Victoria, and have adopted locally. My husband and I are waiting to hear about the next information night that Anglicare is hosting; they believe it may be some time late February/early March 2012. We are still exploring our options,but I'd be lying ifi said I haven't been fraught with oh so many mixed emotions, worries, expectations, etc. Thank you for sharing some of your experiences and pushing for prospective adoptive parents to pursue it despite the many hurdles and complications the process brings in the pursuit of familial joy.

    Kristi, S. Gippsland

  2. Thanks so much Kristi, I am glad I am helping even if it is in some small way; good luck with the information evening and don't let them discourage you.