For a Better World

In light of the recent activity regarding our countries 'Senate Inquiry' into the Commonwealth's role with forced adoption practices taking place as early as the 1940s through to the late 1970s, I felt there is some urgency to express the vast difference between those 'forced adoptions,' of yester-year  compared with adoptions taking place throughout our country today.
Firstly here is an excerpt from a UK Newspaper - the Telegraph, on what may be the start of apologies yet to come concerning Australia's forced adoptions;

It is estimated that more than 150,000 young women across Australia had their children taken away at birth without their consent, often never to be seen again.

Women subjected to forced adoptions in Catholic-run hospitals have described being shackled and drugged during labour and prevented from seeing their children being born or holding them afterwards.
Many said their children had been earmarked for forced adoption well before birth and they were told they could not oppose the decision.
Following an investigation into the practise by the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, the Catholic Church issued a national apology, saying its history of forced adoptions was “deeply regrettable”….
Juliette Clough was 16 when she gave birth to her son in a Catholic hospital in 1970.
“My ankles were strapped to the bed, they were in stirrups and I was gassed, I had plenty of gas and they just snatched away the baby,” she told the ABC.
“You weren’t allowed to see him or touch him, anything like that, or hold him and it was just like a piece of my soul had died and it’s still dead.”…
The women claim they were never told about their right to revoke consent for adoption, or the fact that they could claim single parent benefit.
As well as issuing an apology, the Catholic Church has called on the government to establish “a fund for remedying established wrongs” and a national programme to help mothers and children who were harmed by the forced separations.
It's shocking that our very own country's government played a role in allowing such practices to take place, and even more shocking that innocent young women and their babies were robbed of what could have otherwise been happy futures. together  The decisions made have no doubt embedded long term extreme effects which will haunt all those concerned and personally affected.  However, adoptions of today cannot be likened with those of the past; there just not the same.  While I understand and respect all the individual opinions - especially from those who have been personally touched through such prior practices, it would be unfair for anyone to assume that babies placed for adoption today have been done through force.  Adoptions within our country ARE without any hesitation carried out with both the birth mother's and the pending babies interests being paramount.  Yes, we can all argue that adoption is not the child's choice and how can we say it is done with their best interests held at heart when we couldn't possibly speak for that child and for what they may want; but isn't that the case with any child whether they are adopted or not.  As parents we are responsible for making the best choices possible for our children at all stages of their lives.  A mother considering adoption for her baby in today's society is given choices- choices she gets to make - not the government; not the churches; not the hospitals - in fact she is given every opportunity to make alternative choices other than adoption; adoption being the last most favorable choice to enter into.  And then, if the mother does decide to choose adoption, she is then encouraged to play as much of a role within that child's life as possible.  Adoption today is not baby stealing - that's just ludicrous to suggest and shows no compassion for all those involved with an adoption placement.  It's not about money either; in fact the adoptive parents are faced with all expenses; none which the birth parent is made responsible for. 
And lets not forget the vast difference between local adoption and overseas adoption.  Here, the same outcomes are hoped for; to provide a better life and world for those children to grow amongst.  Why would anyone want any less for a child and why sacrifice a childs life based on what happened in the past?   Awareness is what is called for.  Our nation needs to understand both past and present adoption practices and through understanding maybe we can move on and help those most vulnerable - the child.  Visit http://www.adoptionawarenessweek.com.au/ and support adoption awareness today. 

Adoption contact

As adoptive parents to our locally adopted daughter, we consider ourselves quite lucky with regard to contact agreeement between us and our daughter's biological mother.  As part of the 'open' adoption arrangments made prior to an adoption order being legalised in court, contact can vary from as little as an annual update given to the birth parent/s to as much as 3-4 visitations each year.  When I say we consider ourselves lucky, our commitment to our daughter's biological mother is just an annual update, involving just a written letter telling of progress and anything we feel relevent to share, along with photos. 
When I look back at the time when we quite happily accepted the fact we may have to 'share' our daughter with her biological parent's, I can now say I am much happier with the fact we don't have that complication in our lives.  And now five years of updates on, I consider why should contact and or updates be limited to the adoptive parents having to provide the information.  I often wonder what my daughter's biological mother is doing with her life now, what she feels, what her likes and dislikes are; to me this is all comparative, because there will be a time my daughter will ask questions that I won't have answers for.  I believe that under the 'open' adoption arrangements in our country, the issue of updates from both parties should be put in place; after all adoptions are put in place with the best interests of the child put foremost.  This suggests to me that the adopted child should then be given as much information as what is expected to be given to the biological parent's.

Adoption NSW

Not sure whats going on, but having trouble posting comments; so here is a bit on my findings regarding adoption in NSW.  Firstly, by clicking on post title it will take you to NSW adoption link where you will find info. From what I have found, as long as one of the joint applicants are an Australian citizen then you can apply for local adoption, you also need to have been married or in De-facto for two years, but no mention how long you need to have been living in state.  Keep in mind you can only adopt locally within the state which you reside.  There are also a few agencies who arrange local adoptions, one being Anglicare, http://www.anglicare.org.au/, check their web site out for more info.  Good Luck! 
Anyone persuing local adoption and permanent care, my biggest advice is stay positive throughout the process. 

Intercountry Adoptions

Initially when I set out in establishing an Australian adoption blog, I had local adoption matters as my first priority.  Local adoption plays such an important role in my life; thus being my main objective in getting as much current and accurate information out into our community, especially to those who are considering adoption, have already adopted or are affected through adoption in some way or another.  I believe there is just not enough information provided on our adoption practices and this drives me in helping others keep informed.  Inter-country adoption however is a place I felt already is given alot of attention; alot more than our local adoption processes get, and it is for that reason why I haven't up until now given it its due attention.  I am guessing their are many of you who may have already questioned where is all the info. on how to adopt from overseas?  Well, although it may have been a bit remiss of me to initially exclude it, I now have dedicated a page which will address current issues regarding overseas adoptions for Australians in particular.  Keep a watch out!

Adoption Story Tellers

Recently, while visiting the NAAW (National Adoption Awareness Week) website and facebook page, I was reminded of a task I had all good intentions on completing, yet somehow had got somewhat side tracked. 
The task  - being my own adoption story.  For the first time I have written down both locked and un-locked emotions attatched to the personal experiences I have had surrounding my adoption.   For all those who have been through adoption themselves, whether it be birth parents, adoptive parents or adoptee's themselves, we all have our very own unique stories; some extremely sad to say the least.
In having finished my story, I realised there is still a lot more I have left unsaid; not on purpose, but when you sit back on reflection, you realise there is more to be said, more you didn't first realise needed saying.  Everyone's own experience with adoption is so different; each of us deal with issues confronting us very differently.  Some of us make the decision to contact (search) our birth origins while others are complacent with how things are, others like myself remain confused and question every motive, preventing the ability to move forward or being able to make an infinitive decision.
In saying all this, there is a real need for stories to be told; it's good therapy - really.  In having told my story, it has helped me see aspects of my adoption through a different light; possibly because I have confronted my demons - well at least some for the time being.
Anyone who has an adoption experience, and feels the need to tell their story, they can do so anonymously or openly as part of the Monash Adoption Story Tellers research.    
Although numerous stories have already been submitted, there is obviously many, many more that need to be contributed to make this study a success. 
If you have an adoption story, visit the link and contribute.  Just click on post title above, thanks.

Senate Inquiry into past policies and practices of former forced adoptions

This particular issue is something anyone who has had a history or expereince with past adoption practices should really take a look at.
In meaning past adoption practices, it should be noted that adoptions which took place post 1970s and under or prior to the introduction of adoption laws 1984.
While I am still learning of the atrocities which took place and affected thousands upon thousands of mothers, fathers and families alike in relation to 'stolen generations,' stolen children, greiving mothers and fathers and adults (once children) now left unable to identify, I find it pertinent to include this very important movement taking place within our country.  As Australians we all like to think we can be proud of our heritage and country alike; but can we in all regards, especially when we are not always made aware of things that have had such an impact.  Real people, some still living the nightmare while others sadly have already left this lifetime were robbed of their rightful roots because the issues at hand were either feed by incompetence or ignorance.
Please take the time to read the stories sent to the committee of inquiry; some will teach of the happenings that took place many years ago,and how those decisions still affect lives today, while others will recount experiences or tell of their heartache still felt from such policies and practices placed on real lives - possibly someone you may even know?
To read the stories or view submissions click on the  post title above.

How is Donor conception so like adoption?

With the recent events involving both state and federal inquiries regarding the practices of donor conception within our country, I can relate to how both adoption and donor conception is so closey linked.
While we all view adoption as a process where both parents have no biologial attachment to the child; donor concieved babies can have either -
a) A biological mother who is inseminated with donor sperm,
(DI) - Donor Insemination - donated sperm placed into the woman's reproductive tract by a non-coital (non- sexual) method.
(AI) - Artificial Insemination - any proceedure where human sperm is introduced into the reproductive tract other than part of IVF or GIFT procedures.
b) A donor embryo is transferred by the means of a fertilised egg (sperm &oocyte used which do not belong to the couple wanting to concieve.

Like adoption, children concieved through the means of donor, whether it is via sperm or embryo, the child may (like adopted children) want to find out about thier biological make-up.
I can see if a child is born through donated embryo, that the need to learn of their biological make-up would be of higher interest than possibly a child who has been concieved using only sperm, meaning they still carry his or her biological mothers make-up.
Yes, it is very much like adoption - the need to learn heritage, history and biological make-up.  The only real difference here is in both circumstances the mother has given birth to the child.
I hope in the best interests of the donor concieved child, the practices are given due consideration first for the donor offspring, and that the donor themselves are considered thereafter.  The donor child, as an adopted child should have their interests seen as being paramount (above all). 
As an adopted child, a donor child did not make the decision for how they enter into this world, so the least they can be offered is how they manage their lives thereafter.  In simple terms, I strongly believe it is the adopted or donor childs decision to learn about their biological heritage, and therefore it should be left open for them and them only to explore.

All Quiet on the home front

I haven't heard from my birth mother for almost twelve months now.  Well, when I say I haven't heard from her I mean in the sense of correspondence or via telephone.  Is it unusual? Possibly? Does it really bother me? Maybe? I'm not really sure.  My birthday and Christmas saw a card and gifts arrive but not with the usual, 'Letter to follow,' message, and obviously no letter has arrived.
I have to say the card and gifts thing is becoming slightly awkward.  Yes, it's nice to recieve gifts, but when you recieve numerous gifts and money enclosed within the card, I think that is bordering on over-kill.
Sound ungracous?  Don't mean to.  I just truly don't believe gifts and money are a substitute for what happened 45 years ago.  I don't even know if that is the reason why she feels the need to send so many things to me.  In return, no, I don't send birthday cards or gifts to her; actually I don't even know when her birthday is - or that could be a lie, because if I took the time to look over the adoption order papers I am sure I would find her date of birth there somewhere.
What I do is send a gift at Christmas.  Why?  Because it is the only time I feel I can repay her for all the gifts and money she sends me I guess.  It's not because I don't like sending gifts, I do, and quite cleary this is something we both obviously share in common, the fact we love sending gifts to those we know and love.
So there it is, "Love."  I have to ask myself how does she know she loves me?  Yes she gave birth to me, but how does that define love - she doesn't know me, I am in the true sense a stranger as she is to me.  I only know what I do about her from what she has told me, and she only knows about me from what I have told her.  Do I only tell her the nice things, things I  believe she wants to hear?  Definately.  So is that the same from her?  There is alot about me I am sure she wouldn't want to learn about me.  So yes, we are strangers when we cannot make our own judgement of character on one another, othe than based on what we are told.
I want to write to her, tell her I do appreciate the gifts etc. she sends, but I also want to tell her enough is enough.  I don't need gifts and money, I would rather if she wants to maintain contact we do it on a level playing field, one we don't have to give or take on, instead just allow one another the pleasure of letting each other know what is going on within our lives on occassions.  That's not to much to ask is it?

National Research Study

With view to research conducted by the Australian Institute of Family Services (AIFS), into available literature on the topic of past adoption practices in Australia, it was found not enough evidence and information has ever been obtained to gain a real perspective as to how individuals have been affected through those practices.
In response to this finding, it was announced on 4 June 2010, that a new national study be conducted, becoming the largest study ever for this country into past adoption practices.
The purpose of this study is to find out the current needs for individuals affected through past adoption practices.  The study will focus on the long term impacts of past adoption practices, targeting:

• mothers, fathers;
• adoptees;
• adoptive parents(and families)
• professionals involved in adoption practices (mid-wives, doctors etc).

This study was due to commence early 2011; To register your interest in participating in the study, click on the above post title and follow the registration process. 
Personally, I am looking forward to participating.  I only hope some good comes from this study, and the results providing those who most need it with support and possible closure.

Stuck In the Middle

As an adoptee I often feel the victim, yet somehow I am expected to play the role as heroine.  Although I do feel fortunate having contact with my birth mother, I also feel the relationship between us weighs heavily upon my shoulders, and I often wonder why.
No, I didn't make the choice to be adopted as a young baby; placed in a babies home and left to 'hopefully' become part of a loving and caring family, raising me with all good intentions, providing me with all the necassary skills to walk through life without any inhibitions.  Luckily I did get a loving family but unfortunately no one knows how such an event as adoption can affect an individual, it is a very personal experience and with it comes many complexeties- whether we like it or not.
Before I became an adoptive mother, my thoughts and feelings were quite different to what they are now.  I once questioned my mums agenda that blatantly opposed the idea of any contact between my birth mother and myself. How could she ever doubt my love for her and why would she think that would change because I wanted to meet my birth mother?  As an adoptive parent, I now understand her reservations; it's not because she doubted my love for her, it was a genuine concern for my welfare, my state of mind and path in life that may or may not benefit from such an unknown entity.  I can put myself in my mother's shoes and fully understand her concerns, yet there is one big difference between that, and that is I will never deny or sway my daughter's right to meet her birth mother - but there will be strings attached; she will have to be old enough to make that informed decison herself.
I truly believe that the adopted child (come adult), should have the ultimate right to choose whether they want to contact their birth origins, not the birth parent.
So where does the herione come into it I hear you say?  I must be the herione to my adoptive parents and I must also be the herione to my birth mother.  My parents (adoptive) don't want me to persue any contact, so I must forfeit my own right of passage for what I want; my own judgement is swayed - whether I like it or not - I now feel obliged to honour my parents wishes.  But hang on, my birth mother wants to meet me; she tells me of all the thoughts, feelings, sense of loss and hopelessness she has been burdened with since relinqhuishing me.  So now I feel I owe her something-but what, something for breathing life into me? Something because she feels so bad about what happened and wants to make it alright-but for who?  And know I am expeced to make all things right for all us. I must respect my parents wishes ( after all I love them, and I don't want to hurt them), - I don't want to hurt them - ever.  And so too, I don't want to hurt my birth mother and her feelings and I don't want to make her live the rest of her days feeling guilty for placing me for adoption.  But who's thinking about what I need or want?  Me!  Just me. 
So I make all parties involved happy.  I keep contact with my birth mother hush hush.  No talking openly about it around my parents; no birthday or Christmas cards displayed among others - instead boxed away with all the letters we have exchanged over the years.  Do I feel a sense of betrayal in doing so - hell yer.
Am I comfortable with how things are being handled - hell no.  My birth mother wants to meet in person, letters are not enough anymore.  I can't extend my betrayal this far; and now even I don't know what I truly want anymore.  Is it because all these years I have come to accept that I should put others before myself?
Yes, I am very much stuck in the middle.
   

DVD: The Waiting City

 

A film about inter-country adoption.

Although I am a big advocate for local adoption, I understand and realise how big the impact of inter-country adoption plays with many couples within Australia wishing to become parents through adoption.
This movie portrays the complications and heartache of a couple who travel overseas to meet and bring home the baby they have been planning and waiting over two years to legally adopt.  They travel to India and are faced with many obstacles; some personal, some out of thier control.  I felt the movie moved a little slow and could have shown more insight into the processes of adoption.  In saying this, it was a moving film and well worth watching for anyone interested in adoption generally. The outcome came as a surprise; one all couples going through the inter-country process should not get disheartened by.

Aussie Adoption

To your left you will find my current survey - Would you buy a book on  how to adopt in Australia?

Why not place your vote and become a part of this important statistic that could ultimately help hundreds of thousands who have been affected through adoption matters within Australia, and those who are either currently going through local adoption processess or contemplating the idea.

Your Vote will show the real need for such a resource. 
So please take a few seconds to place your vote!
Thanks.

Simply an update!

Hi, This is for all those couples who have sent such encouraging comments to this blog.  I just want to let those of you who have concerns about adopting within Australia, to go with your heart and see the process through.  We had a five year-old biological son when our adopted daughter's birth mother chose us to as her adoptive parents.  Initially we thought because we already had a child this would discount us and go against us in becoming adoptive parents - but here we are - we were still chosen, and who knows why; each birth parent will have their own set of ideals for their baby and  I believe it really simply comes down to that.  From experience, birth parents will take into account what sort family background you come from; a large family, maybe lots of siblings or fewer siblings, where you live; country or city, what kind of family environment you intend to give your adopted child; what you can offer.  We never went overboard, or tried to be people we weren't, and I think that helped in many ways.  We didn't overwhelm the birth mother with unfamiliar things that she couldn't relate to.  I remember the case worker looking at the photograph we supplied which would be presented to birth parents if and when we were going to be considered as adoptive parents.  The photo was very ordinary, just the three of us sitting on the family couch in our work clothes and our son in his spiderman costume, but obviously this must have in some way connected with the birth mother of our daughter.  All I can say to all those couples out there who are under going the process of local adoption is stick to it, because you never know, you just might be the couple a birth parent is longing for to cae for their baby.  Don't give up hope - ever, this is from experience.

Mother And Child Trailer

I watched this movie last night and have a few things to reveal.  Firstly, yes, the start - or more to the point at
least 3/4s of this film was very slow and felt to have been poorly acted.  Having said that there were snippets that touched me and the last 1/2 hour held my interest. 
For those not sure what it's all about let me try to explain without spoiling the plot.  The woman pictured below had a baby when she was fourteen and gave the baby up for adoption.  She wrote a journal every night to the daughter she gave up, yet had no intention of meeting her until her own mother passed away, and after she found love and married.  Her adopted daughter - a professional lawyer who had no intention of ever having children or ever meeting her biological parents falls pregnant and deciedes to keep the baby, it is then when she deciedes to open the doors to communication with her birth mother.  Then there is a couple who want to adopt - they go through the processes for adoption until the husband deciedes he wants out and leaves his wife.  I'm hearing you, yes the cast is vast and the settings jump all over the place but the story makes sense in  the end.  Is it worth seeing?  Mmm, yesss... I guess so.  You will have to get it out on DVD to see for yourself, I am glad I did.  And no, the girl pictured below is not who you might think; quite the contrary.
      

Interview wth Zara Phillips; Author,singer, songwriter, adoptee.

  I was introduced to Zara Phillips last night; not in person, but through her personal adoption story and experiences in her DVD titled 'Roots-Unknown.'

It was a great story covering the feelings and experinces of adult adoptees who some learned of their adoptions as a child and some later in their adult life.
She is not just an adoptee, she is an acclaimed songwriter, singer who has played alongside DMC, and other big names such as Bob Geldof. 

New Edition

Zara is also the author of 'MotherMe,' her adoption story. Originally the book was self-published because she thought a publisher would not be interested.  While selling most of her copies at Adoption Conferences and seminars, the BAAF, British Association of Adopting and Fostering offered to publish her book. The book is now about to be re-released as a new edition in America in February 2011.  What a great achievement!
For more information on Zara and her story visit http://www.zarahphillips.com/
Check out this link to read her interview, very insightful.
http://mydailyjoe.com/2010/07/24/an-exclusive-interview-with-author-zara-phillips/

Radar!

I don't know, but perhaps I should?  Are adoptees born with some kind of built in radar telling them they should carry around with them some kind of insecurities?  The reason I raise this question is because I see so much of myself in my daughter - and as you would know we are both adopted. 
At such a tender age of four I see her competing at everything to prove her worth, but why?  I don' feel that we have ever given her cause to feel insecure, to feel she needs to prove anything-infact she is the most clever and switched on little thing I have ever met. 
I remember having the same traits as her as a child, and in some aspects of my life I feel I still find a need to fight for recognition and to prove I am just as good at anything as anyone else, but I don't honestly know why.
In saying this, it's probably not as all bad as it sounds, I have after all been able to achieve many things throughout my life I wouldn't have if I didn't have that drive to do so.
So, I hope my daughter realises she needs to prove nothing to nobody; except to herself, after all she has the world at her feet already, she just dosn't know it yet.

Like minded others

I feel so very fortunate having joined a support group for those affected through adoption.  It wasn't until last nights meeting that it brought with it the true sense of why I am driven to continue attending. 
I admit that I first attended without a set agenda - that is if your even suppose to have one - and I guess I still don't have a set agenda but can honestly say I have a better idea of what my needs are and also that of how I can possibly help others who face obstacles or who just feel they can't find an answer their hoping for. 
What I've learnt thus far is that Adoptin is complicated; there is no question about that.  It's complicated because there are so many underlying factors that can surface and affect you in so many different ways throughout your life at any one time. 
Contact would have to be in my opinion one of the most complicated issues yet.  Yes I am speaking from my own personal experiences, but I can also say that those who I know and met who have also been through the processes of contact have all encountered some form of uncertainty or reservation, and that is from all sides of the coin so to speak.  Birth parents, adoptees, adoptive parents all experience their own hesitations or doubts; they all will have their own ideals and expectations but unfortunately these will not necesarrily match the same expectations of the one they wish to meet. 
For me I have maintained contact with my birth mother for the past twenty years.  Our contact has only been through exchange of personal letters until recently.  This year my birth mother has taken the brave step in contacting me by telephone, something that came totally unexpected yet placed me in a position of not knowing whether I am alright with it or not.  Once the phone is answered I can hardly hang-up, I'm just not that sort of person.  As strange as it is talking with this person who breathed life into me, I talk with her as a stranger.  I don't know her, I only know what she has told me of herself through letters and photos; I don't know how her family really feels about me?  Would they rather I go away?  My birth mother has indicted that her children - well only a few - are interested in knowing more about me, I don't really know why because I am just another person, nothing special.  If I was one of her children I think I would feel somewhat threatened with the presence of someone like me.  Wouldn't they question my agenda of what I wanted out of meeting their mother, my birth mother?
So my aim for the immediate future is to try and understand my birth mother's position; I am going to try and really seek what I truly want to do, meet in person or not?  I honestly don't know what to do and feel stuck in uncertainity.

Stats are talking!

Hi!  I know you are all out there, but who are you? What sort of information are you looking for?

I was blown away to find that since starting this blog in May 2010, I have had over 350 hits.  That's right, quite impressive; well I think so anyway. This has surpassed all ideals I had ever imagined.  I am so happy this site is connecting with so many people who are interested in the adoption processes within our country.  So who are you and why not leave a comment or start following if you have a blog of your own?  I would dearly love to hear from some of you and  find out what you need to know or what your thoughts are.

Gay Adoptions - Right or Wrong?

I don't have the right to say whether gay or not that someone should or should not be given the opportunity to become parents.  I have friends that are gay and have never treated them any different after finding out that their sexual preference happened to be of the same sex.  I think I am truly lucky to be able to have an open relationship with people that should not be judged just because of their sexual perefence, and that they can still remain great friends, remain happy and truthful with me about something that so many people tend to turn their backs on. 
I do however have mixed feeling when it comes to adoption and same sex couples.  Call me old and not entirely in touch with society for this but...I do think just as many influential people in the field have - that every child should be given the opportunity for a relationship with both a mother and father.  The roles of both parents come with so many different values and experiences and I can't ignore the fact that a child could miss out in not getting this chance. 
On the other hand there are so many crappy parents out there that I too would suggest that probably a same sex couple would in these cases provide a much better and stabler environment than those who abuse their children.  Love conquers as they say!
I think I watch too much TV, but take 'Modern Family', for instance, the gay couple who adopted their daughter Lilly.  I love them!  They are brilliant - I know, I can hear you, it's only TV, but truly if all gay couples were like these two, who would ever question that the child was not and would not get all they ever could hope for in life.
So in saying this I am going to keep an open mind as far as gay couples being able to adopt.  I think a lot worse could happen - don't you?

So, are you adopted?

Statistics tell us there are well over 250,000 Australians affected through adoption.  This simply means that from these 250,000 people, they are either adopted, adoptive parents, birth parents or members of families who have had adoption associated within thier lives.

I'm am just one little voice in this obviously very big ocean of adoption, and yes I find it kind of daunting that 44 years (almost 45) since my adoption took place that the issue does and will always continue to play a major role in my life as well as my opinions.  Many adoptees will not want for others to know about the fact they are adopted due to the fear of judgement placed on them or their families; but why in the age we live in - in today's society, do people continue to have this false belief about adopted people?

I don't know how many times I have heard people refer to adopted people as having hang-ups in life, that their families are not their real families.  I will always remember a remark that came from a cousin of mine at the funeral of my brother, who said 'oh well he wasn't your real brother.'  Well! I guess that's okay then, that because he wasn't my real brother I obviously wasn't affected as much as someone who perhaps lost a brother who wasn't adopted? Some people just don't get it.  Whether you are adopted or not, your family is your family, your parents are your parents and your brothers and sisters are just that - nothing less, ever.

Our society and quite obviously even our own extended families just don't seem to always get it.  Adoption doesn't spell less love, less family, less importance.  Adopted people are still people with feelings, their parents hold as higher aspirations for thier children as parents with natural children, I can tell you this from experience.  I don't wish for my natural born son to have better opportunities in life than my adopted daughter - I wish that both my children have equal successes in life.

I'ts truly time for society to understand the complexities of adoption, to know what the real issues are that adoptees face and why.  I know I hate listening to silly jokes made by people about adoption, that their misinformed opinion is then transferred to an audience who have just as lesser idea of what is being communicated, yet take every word as gospal.

Australian adoption issues have been left in the dark for far too long and advocates such as Deborra-lee Furness are much needed to help erase the false stigma surrounded in our countries adoption matters.
For more info. on how to get involved contact http://www.adoptionawarenessweek.com.au/